@skylerhanrath: If you want a medical degree, they're literally hanging on doctor's walls. Grab one.
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@lafpgh: Him: My brother wants us all to go camping together next summer. Me: Can’t go, I’m allergic. Him: To what? Me: Everything you just said.
@iAmDelFreaky: Mom: Any big plans today? Me: Yes, of course, my friend is coming over and... Mom: The mail doesn't come on Sundays. Me: Oh, then no. :'(
@Reverend_Scott: Love is that feeling you get when you meet someone that makes you forget about all of your problems cuz they're causing all new problems.
@LizHackett: You must be radiating feminine mystique because every man in the cafe is looking at you, and then you realize there's a TV over your head.