@skylerhanrath: If you want a medical degree, they're literally hanging on doctor's walls. Grab one.
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@LetMeStart: [on phone with friend] Friend: Did you just throw up? Me: No, that's the sound I make when going from standing to sitting now.
@ErrenMichaels: Good grief, did you see that, Hans? A time traveller just appeared, shot Adolf and left again. I mean I know his paintings are shit but WTF
@Darlainky: -That toaster oven looks worn out. Why are you still using it? -Sentimental attachment. -It just caught fire. -Aww, just like old times.