@WilliamAder: If you want sparkling, sophisticated conversation, catch me early in the month, before I've used up my ten free New York Times articles.
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@Sarcasticsapien: The best thing about going on a date with a sarcastic person is that no matter what happens they're going to tell you they had a great time.
@MatCro: [4 strangers are smearing their bodily fluids on each other] [one turns to camera] "There has to be a better way." VOICEOVER: "Hot tubs."