@WilliamAder: If you want sparkling, sophisticated conversation, catch me early in the month, before I've used up my ten free New York Times articles.
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@sarcasticmommy4: My family went camping & left me home alone, like I'd be missing out. Oh please, don't leave me home with electricity & running water.
@ibid78: You kids have no idea how lucky you are. Back in my day we had to shave our jokes into the sides of cats and throw those cats at passers by.