@WilliamAder: If you want sparkling, sophisticated conversation, catch me early in the month, before I've used up my ten free New York Times articles.
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@dysalexia: Next time you're on a date and someone asks "Is that your boyfriend or your brother?" smile really creepy and whisper "Both".
@bazecraze: Making fun of someone's age is like mocking them for getting hit by a train because you're standing a little further down the tracks.
@IamEnidColeslaw: I always keep at least 6 wigs in my trunk for trips to the grocery store so I can keep going back for samples