@OhNoSheTwitnt: If you want to confuse a teen just ask them what the opposite of literally is.
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@thatUPSdude: Turns out cops get really pissed if you slip out of your handcuffs even if you say "Ta-Da" when you do.
@rockymomax: [buys ghostbusters ringtone] ME: who ya gonna call? [1 hour later] ME: who ya gonna call?! [2 days later] ME: *sobbing* I am so lonely
@panmidwest: How selfish am I? Circus peanuts and black licorice are my favorite candies just so I never have to share.