@OhNoSheTwitnt: If you want to confuse a teen just ask them what the opposite of literally is.
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@CYComedy: Batman's Bat Signal was really banking on the fact that crimes only happened at night.
@simoncholland: My GPS just told me to turn left into a cornfield and now I'm afraid it wants to murder me.
@samiam604: *on my deathbed* *groggy, dazed, & delirious* Me: I wonder if my TC ever really loved me? Wife: Honey, what's a TC? Me: *pulls plug*
@hotmessminushot: I don't quite get women who have like 15 bridesmaids. I don't even like 15 people altogether in my life.