@j0eg0d: If you want to drink and drive you better bring enough for the whole highway.
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@fowlerism: [3am] WIFE: *nudging my shoulder* I can't sleep, do you wanna... ME: *suddenly awake* WIFE: ...teach me calculus? ME: We begin, as we must, with the concept of a derivative
@Lisabug74: I fed my dogs spaghetti so they could kiss, but instead they’re growling over a cold meatball and not sitting still for my painting.