@j0eg0d: If you want to drink and drive you better bring enough for the whole highway.
@BlindChow: *uses Ouija board*
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@ruinedpicnic: There's a marble statue of Mr. Peanut sculpted by Michaelangelo in the basement of the Sistine Chapel that only the popes know about
@jus4golf: My wife just said we should have another baby. I hope she didn't mean together.
@xLiserx: Superheroes come from broken homes & inattentive parents.
Parents, stop hugging your kids. We need a Batman.
@SamGrittner: How do chocolate labs not die of themselves?