@pippydrydocking: If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don't be open.
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@Mr_Kapowski: With the ferocity that my 6 y/o daughter knocked on the bathroom door there was either a murderer in the house or a cat did something cute
@jake_likes_naps: The year is 2543. Beyblades are a form of currency. Everyone speaks in emoji. President Woof outlaws all cats. Madonna releases a new single
@CallMeMrBigs: I'm not looking for the woman who reads 50 Shades of Grey. I'm looking for the one that finds it boring.
@AlexRogaski: *Runs across campus to get to class on time* Whew! I made it! *Sits in the back and browses Twitter for an hour and a half*