@SCbchbum: If you want to hear an elderly couple arguing for 2 hrs about whether they closed their garage door, go to a movie at 11AM on a weekday.
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@kelkulus: It would have been cool to see the discovery of salt. "This food tastes bland. Let's see if I can improve it by adding some rocks."
@Mr_Kapowski: Lady Astronaut: *eats all the chocolate* Guy Astronaut: You know we're on the space shuttle for- LA: SHUTTLE YOUR MOUTH AND GIVE ME SPACE
@DurtMcHurtt: Me: *quickly flips through each layer of a Big Mac like a wad of cash* McDonald's employee: [nervously assuring me] it's all there I swear.
@ChaoticBeny: Christmas always sucked when I was a kid because I believed in Santa Claus, and unfortunately, so did my parents. #Christmas