@KentWGraham: If you want to know how I rate in our household, my wife has one term of endearment for me and 74 for our dog.
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@notabeanie: DOC: good news is you'll make it ME: phew! DOC: ...into the the record book for stupidest way to die ME: *still vomiting marshmallows*
@215potter: Thank god my brother's getting his PhD, I was running out of ways to disappoint my parents.
@BoogTweets: (Creating Atheists) God: Make some humans Sciencey Angel: Will they believe in you? God: No, but they'll be so surprised when we meet!
@GeorgiaSweet20: Me:*on phone* OMG thats hilarious! OK I gotta go, everyones staring. K bye. *hangs up* Im ready. Priest: And do you take this man, in holy