@SCbchbum: If you want to know how many hours your mom was in labor with you, tell her you won't be able to come over & visit.
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@Dani_Feld: All I do is eat, drink, sleep and tweet. I'm basically just a more annoying version of a Tamagotchi.
@sarcasticmommy4: My son asked for help with his math homework as we pulled into the school parking lot. Then I laughed & laughed & told him to get out.
@slaughthie: My anaconda don't want none unless you got a suitable living environment for him, a terrarium with a heat lamp, some small rodents, etc.
@abbycohenwl: how to have good hair: - have bad hair - walk around like you have that hair on purpose