@trevso_electric: If you want to know what a girl will look like in 30 years, stop talking to her and show up to her house in 30 years to check on her.
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@KaysNH: Just had an awful drive home. I was forced to ride side by side with another car for 5 minutes. We managed to avoid eye contact, but still.
@AnOrangeSNES: [Crossword] 7 across) Person you work with, 9 letters COWORKER 21 down) Person you hate, 9 letters COWORKER
@ShaunRightNow: Hooker says $500. I say $50. She walks away. Later, I'm walking with my wife, same hooker sees me and says, I see what you got for $50.
@shakenbakegurl: I'm really bad at measuring the correct amount of pasta, so if you and 79 of your friends want spaghetti tonight, come on over.