@LindseyEllison2: If you want to look mysterious I would suggest painting your cornea with a sharpie. Always works for me.
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@AlexvanBeek: Women, If you could just go ahead, get a plane & spell it out in the sky for us, that'd be greeeat. Sincerely, Men
@fatherofcomedy: They say genius skips a generation.In our case it fell off our family tree and died.
@TEXASVETERAN: I always get my pizza cut into 4 slices. You'd have to be a fat ass to eat 8 slices.
@TheMichaelRock: News: Don't panic about Ebola, but please watch this nonstop coverage about how it could spread everywhere and kill you. Don't panic though.