@LindseyEllison2: If you want to look mysterious I would suggest painting your cornea with a sharpie. Always works for me.
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@trevso_electric: Just saw a touching BP commercial where BP congratulates BP for doing some of what BP was legally required to do after it wrecked the earth.
@AndyAsAdjective: [spelling bee] your word is 'hors d'oeuvre' "can you use it in a sentence?" yes…'I bet this kid can't spell hors d'oeuvre'
@onion_an: Me: I was so happy before I lost my forearms in that shark attack Therapist: How do you feel now? Me: With my elbows