@LostCatDog: If you want to relate to how old people probably feel just imagine that a bowl of soup cost $40 and everybody else acted like that was fine.
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@buttgh0st: [following girl off elevator] you cant hate snakes and then say u love dragons, because theyre actually extremely similar. in a lot of mytho
@TheRolo: "Your lifeguard résumé is just a pic of David Hasselhoff" I feel it says all u need to know about me "He's drunk with a cheeseburger" Yes
@iheartgunts: Phil Collins' "In The Air Tonight" is the best ever song about a silent but deadly fart.