@2thestreetz: If you want world peace, your army should be made up of massage therapists. I mean, who could fight while getting a relaxing massage?
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@HysteriaBarbie: Me: Shot through the heart 911: What is your location? Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon? Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up
@Book_Krazy: Me: *showing the priest a gif of a dog chasing his tail* Haha it's like he never stops Priest: Ok but I said "Bring the GIFTS to the alter"
@LilFlaOrange30: That moment when you're driving and tweeting and you look up and notice you're in the Atlantic Ocean.
@bromanconsul: LA girls say they want to go on "adventures" but when I pitch the idea of overthrowing the yakuza they clarify that they meant, like, hiking