@iwearaonesie: if you want your wife to take you seriously, don't throw your sippy cup during an argument
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@SCbchbum: I wouldn’t mind being catcalled if it were useful: “Hey baby, boot sale at Macy’s!” or, “Line’s shorter at Starbucks on 5th, sweet cheeks!”
@SteveSuckington: Fun prank: 1. Steal your married friends phone 2. Change your name to 'Brandi from the club' 3. Call repeatedly at 3AM and hang up
@SideOfWine: Just as bugs are drawn to bright lights, so are my toes drawn inexplicably to hard objects.