@papasuncle: If you watch 2016 backwards, it's a heartwarming story of how celebrities can come back to life just by trending on the Internet.
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@OfficeofSteve: My washing machine is broken and the laundry is piled so much now, I've started to wear old Halloween costumes
@juliussharpe: I'm scared to go to sleep tonight knowing some maniac is running around out there slightly deflating footballs.
@Book_Krazy: Me: What's with the look? Hub: How would you like a full-service massage? Me: I would, but will you and the kids be okay while I'm gone?
@Brianhopecomedy: Bumped into my Ex again. I should really move her to a different part of the freezer.