@OhNoSheTwitnt: If you watch Beauty & the Beast backwards a grown man devolves into a monster then into a petulant little boy. It's basically Twitter.
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@flyafuckingkite: When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up? This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.
@InternetHippo: "What are you doing, idiot?" – me, to other drivers on the road "What are you doing, idiot?" – me, to myself, in all other situations
@charliedelta7: I don't have instagram, so I thought you guys should know I had Starbucks this morning. The cup was super cool looking. I also saw a rainbow