@_ElvishPresley_: If you watch Benjamin Buttons backwards it’s very confusing bc you can’t understand what people are saying
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@mommajessiec: Day 1 of home improvement project: This should take us a week. Day 7: This should take us 2 weeks. Day 57: There is no end in sight.
@Mr_Kapowski: You tell one kid there's candy inside an electrical outlet that can only be retrieved with a fork and you're never asked to babysit again
@Arrogant_Twat: Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
@DanMentos: "So we kill a tree" Ok "And put it inside our house" Nice "Then we hang up some socks" I'm with ya "And then we drink egg milk punch" What