@_ElvishPresley_: If you watch Benjamin Buttons backwards it’s very confusing bc you can’t understand what people are saying
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@ineedaballrub: I just Googled 'Nicolas Cage jokes' and it showed me a list of every film he's been in. Well played, Google.
@weinerdog4life: A good way to know if your girlfriend is a lizard is if she eats a bunch of crickets or small birds
@AndrewNadeau0: My mother, who has never drank or done any drug, is in Amsterdam. So, watch out, Netherlands, someone’s about to respectfully tour the crap out of your windmills.
@TheMichaelRock: Prescription commercials are always so touching until the last minute or so when they explain how their product could kill you.