@B1gBrainsMcGee: If you watch COPS backwards it's just a bunch of people overcoming miraculous obstacles to win free drugs
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@TheMichaelRock: All the good guys aren't taken; they're at the bar on Tuesday nights. Trust me. I'm a stranger on the internet.
@anylaurie16: Changed ex's name in my cell to Do Not Engage. Unfortunately, his middle name Not doesn't show up when he texts.
@ericsshadow: CNN: President Obama Rescues a Child From a Burning Home FOX: Failed President Obama Tries To Take Jobs Away From Hard Working Firefighters