@senorwinces: If you watch Intervention backwards, it's about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion.
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@BuckyIsotope: Is Pepsi ok? *I pull out my phone and send a text* *2 hours pass* *an out of breath Dikembe Mutumbo runs in wagging his finger* No it is not
@lovemyboots111: Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life.... Avoiding them
@bkdcasey: If it acts like a duck, sounds like a duck and looks like a duck, then it is probably some girl on Instagram taking a selfie.
@Parentpains: My wife is acting like giving me the silent treatment for four days is a bad thing.