@SortaBad: If you watch Sleeping Beauty backwards it's about a prince who was so charming he kissed his girlfriend and she fainted for 17 years
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@crunchenhancer: When bears are around, try to look skinny and they won't eat you. If that doesn't work, kick your buddy in the nuts and RUN!
@jbringsmayhem: 9: do they drink beer in heaven? Me: I kinda doubt it... 9: does somebody check for it at the gate? Me: ...
@timdonakowski: Okay, wait a second. I pee, I do my belt, THEN I wash my hands. I don't know about you but I've never, ever washed my belt.
@yoyoha: Are there any police officers willing to come to my house in uniform and tell my kids that not listening to me is against the law