@huntigula: If you watch "The Empire Strikes Back" backwards it's about a kid so traumatized to learn his dad's identity he starts hitting on his sister
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@bridger_w: This burned out sign has given me the permission I need to take care of my neighborhood grocer once and for all
@Jam453Lane: When someone uses the bathroom and asks about the wine cork floating in the toilet is why I don't invite people to my house.
@brookeisgolden: An underage sweater walks into a bar for the third time. The bartender says, "I'm gonna need to see your cardigan."
@roggyie: My wife is constantly accusing me of being racist.I dont care what she says,Im black,shes black,it should concern me that our baby is white