@justabloodygame: If you watch The Matrix backwards, a young man slowly comes down from a wild acid trip before returning to his low-level tech job.
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@Brianhopecomedy: I probably should've said, "Congrats on your 4th child!" instead of "Halfway there, OctoMom".
@david8hughes: [soldier dying in my arms] Soldier: tell my wife- Me: dude I'm already giving messages for 3 guys. Just wait until she dies & tell yourself
@DCpierson: I'm a Lit major. I did my thesis on why my car is in the front yard and I'm sleeping with my clothes on.