@dubstep4dads: if you watch the titanic backwards hundreds of disgusting sea zombies come together as a community and rebuild an old ship
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@iamspacegirl: vampire: let me bite you me: no! vampire: it will be fun me: *running away* vampire: wait, stop! my fangs magically change color when I sip through them! me: *noticeably slowing down*
@abhorrent_wife: I don't always try to use big words but when I do, I accidentally tell a mother her toddler was a necrophiliac today instead of narcoleptic.
@Tmoney68: My idea to call our weekend bicycling group the "Pedalphiles" was not well-received AT ALL.
@Iwriteforcats: You get a fish bite! You get a fish bite! You get a fish bite! You're all getting fish bites! - OPiranha