@dubstep4dads: if you watch the titanic backwards hundreds of disgusting sea zombies come together as a community and rebuild an old ship
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@LostFelicia: I bought new sunglasses that blend well with the color of my hair so I won't feel so stupid the next time I lose them on the top of my head
@adult_keverage: Do you know what's cooler than those fake chains around your license plate? Everything. Every single thing in the world.
@bafeldman: *jk rowling wakes up* what’s today’s tweet *spins large bingo cage* hagrid… is… pansexual and… he later joined isis