@Marshalchisomcu: if you watch Titanic from d back; it's about dead people resurrecting from the sea, pulling up a ship fixing it and sailing to England
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@pplwtching: Sober me: It would be convenient to have a urinal in my house. Drunk me: A urinal! *pees in sink*
@mattchew81: A nicer way to tell someone their breath stinks is to say "I'm bored, let's go brush your teeth!"
@LindseyEllison2: If I ever go to prison I will immediately go up to the biggest person and tickle them.