@Mr_Kapowski: If you wear a cape to a meal, you can spin it around to the front and have a full sized bib for eating
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@Tresca69: You can't trust anyone you meet online I went on a date with a guy I met online last week and stole $250 from him
@psybermonkey: Genie: You get one wish. Me: I wish I had more twitter followers. Genie: Done. *vanishes* *Checks phone* Genie is now following you.
@KalvinMacleod: [buying a USB cord at Best Buy] that'll be $29.99 [buying a USB cord off Amazon] here, take 5 cords for $4.99 and I'll throw in a free horse