@samfromks: If you wear a man bun in a dimly lit restaurant and I call you ma'am... That's on you.
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@ibid78: Eight glasses of water a day? Nope. I do a minimum of sixteen. Keeps you looking young. Take me for example. I was born in 1926.
@longwall26: A werewolf is chasing you. You're on a Segway. The werewolf is too. Both batteries are dying, and the chase gets slower and slower.
@0point5twins: If you see a girl crying, a nice thing to do is show your compassionate side and ask if it's because of her haircut.