@samfromks: If you wear a man bun in a dimly lit restaurant and I call you ma'am... That's on you.
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@NoBadHairDays2: A friend asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. My response: Oh, about 20 minutes.
@amusedkerching: If someone is bothering you with unneccessary calls to your cell number, post their number on eBay with the ad "iPhone 5S for $1 only"
@Audenary: LINCOLN: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt. TWITTER: No.