@DanorSlim: If you wear a onesie to a wedding, no one will ever invite you to another one.
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@WilliamAder: I knew joining a gym was a bad idea when I got there and needed help pulling the door open.
@Storminika: I hate it when guys use pickup lines like, 'Hey, what's your friend's name?' on me. Worst pickup line ever.
@Donna_McCoy: I just smile when someone says I eat like a horse, because it's hard to argue through a mouthful of sugar cubes.
@XplodingUnicorn: 6: Why are we at the vet? Me: So our pig can't have babies 6: How do you know she doesn't want babies? Me:*looks at my kids* Just a hunch