@lucyworld1: If you weren't supposed to eat 15 Oreos in one sitting, they wouldn't package them in rows of 15.
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@redthe1: My niece guessed the capital of Montana is Hannah, and I had to give it to her because as far as I know that's correct
@LosLos__: HR: You said: You're "moist" welcome? Me: Autocorrect. HR: You're fine. Me: Sweet! HR: I meant: you're fired. Autocorrect.
@KalvinMacleod: [school] TEACHER: how was your summer? STUDENT: great, I grew a foot TEACHER: that’s cool, can I see it?
@mishakey: Don't forget to check your backseat for murderers! Haha! No, but seriously bring me a coke it's hot in here.