@Boleyngirly: If you'd just let me explain, you'd be even angrier.
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@junejuly12: Him: you’re so cool Me: thanks Him: ...and aloof Me: thanks Him: it’s like you were raised by cats Me: *licks his face* huh?
@adult_keverage: Wife: Why are you so out of breath? You drove here. Me: Yeah but I was listening to Slayer in the car.
@fro_vo: Me: can I wish for more wishes Genie: no Me: i wish for $20 then Genie: granted Me: *slides $20 across table* how about those wishes now