@Bob_Janke: If your BF wears a gold necklace outside of his tshirt both of you will be asked to get out of your car by the police at gunpoint some day
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@samuelhlowe: Chasing a Pringles can down a slope is the closest I've ever been to hunting my own food.
@notalogin: How would you describe your past work? [Cut to me picking up coins off sidewalks and taking them to CoinStar] -Change management.
@The_No_Show: "DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!" he screamed at his phone. Everyone else on the train hugged their phones a bit closer.