@goodballs: If your bf/gf is mad at you put a cape on them and say, "Now you're super mad!" If they laugh marry them.
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@paperphotoyo: Managed to scare off my prison pen pal. Crazy doesn't even begin to cover what's wrong with me.
@KKAlThani: My personal trainer told me to listen to my body at the gym so I punched him in the face and went to get some ice cream.
@BackrowSeats: People that say "God never gives you more than you can handle" never met my ex-girlfriend.