@Dr_awfulpants: If your boss says "Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't you supposed to be in at 8am?" don't correct them. Its a trap. They hate being wrong.
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@SteveSuckington: [job interview] "What's your.." *interrupts* -My greatest strength is my work ethic "Well played. Welcome to the psychic friends network"
@Marcmywords2: Hey Dad, The airport called, if you don't turn down your TV, they're filing a complaint.
@domesticH: wish hard enough & anything can happen, they say. yet two hours later my stomach growls & my breakfast still isn't making itself. liars!
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Rock-a-bye-baby is my favorite nursery rhyme about the tragic consequences of putting babies in trees.