@Dr_awfulpants: If your boss says "Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't you supposed to be in at 8am?" don't correct them. Its a trap. They hate being wrong.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DougStanhope: 16 year olds can vote in Scotland. That's ok because they've been drinking since they were 9 and understand disillusionment.
@withanewname: It's like these people at the liquor store have never seen somebody pay with this much change
@MollySneed: [first date] I just love that you are a normal, cool girl. *subtly slides macaroni art of your face back under my chair* -Yeah, totally.