@Vodkantots: If your boyfriend doesn't buy you chocolates today, it's probably because he thinks you're fat.
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@UncleDuke1969: She has a rye sense of humor & great buns. I'm her hero, although I don't have much dough. I can't wheat to see her! I'm in loaf.
@tastefactory: When parents say to kids "go to ur room & think about what you've done" it's really good practice for what you'll do every night as an adult
@Jake_Vig: BOSS: Don't just stand there. ME: Bust a move? BOSS: What? ME: Nothing, I'll go make some copies.
@papasuncle: My wife just opened a bottle of wine so my chances of getting laid just went from 0 to 750ml.