@Vodkantots: If your boyfriend doesn't buy you chocolates today, it's probably because he thinks you're fat.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@paperphotoyo: Managed to scare off my prison pen pal. Crazy doesn't even begin to cover what's wrong with me.
@cwhudson: *taps on a super old dude's oxygen tank* you know that you can get this stuff for free right
@TheToddWilliams: [heaven] ME: Lord? JESUS: My son ME: I have an important question JESUS: I know…The meaning of life is f- ME: Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?
@EndhooS: [Troy in the olden times] "WTF is that?" A wooden horse "It's not full of soldiers is it?" [from in horse] JUST TAKE IT INSIDE & HAVE A LOOK