@jwoodham: If your building doesn't have an elevator and you don't live on the first floor, we can't date. I'm looking for a relationship, not a gym.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@EndhooS: Cool puppy. What's his name? "Patches" Aww, that's a cute name. Because he has those spots? "Nah...it's cause he's trying to quit smoking"
@huntigula: her: the manager of the McDonalds down the street called today... him: [sitting on couch next to Ronald McDonald statue] Did he sound mad?
@jferg1616: Boss: "We are all going to have a bunch of Red Bull, bust out the chest of Adderall, be laser focused for about 4 hours, then die."