@jwoodham: If your building doesn't have an elevator and you don't live on the first floor, we can't date. I'm looking for a relationship, not a gym.
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@nbadag: THERAPIST: you're running from something. what do u think it might be? [goose outside the window does throat-slitting motion] ME: uh—failure
@Midlifecrisis18: Sex in your 40's: (Position change) * CRRRACK * Her: Was that me or you? Me: Just go with it, we'll assess injuries later.