@Supafunkadunka: If your cat brings home a dead bird and presents it to you, don't be rude. Take a little bite.
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@OldUncleDaveO: If you are having anxiety over something you've said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
@murrman5: "you're too polite" I am not [two weeks earlier while my house is being robbed] sorry he doesn't usually bark at strangers
@SteveSuckington: [approaches parent with child on a leash] "Mind if I pet your dog?" Hey that's my son! "Oh my bad. Mind if I pet your son?"
@jp_mcdade: Wow, I wish people were into politics as much as they're into sports. *meets someone who's really into politics* Wow, I wish I was dead.