@ScottLinnen: If your conspiracy theory doesn't involve cats, don't bother me.
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@HeyZeus666: I’d never snoop through my girlfriend’s phone out of love, a deep respect and the inability to crack her password.
@stephenjmolloy: Wife: "Ian is coming over." Me: "Ian from work or Ian who is good at disguises?" Wife: "Ian- *pulls off mask* -who is good at disguises!"
@davedittell: the doctors gnash their teeth and howl through the night, but they dare not breach the lines of my apple orchard
@shutupmikeginn: While you guys were wasting your time talking about politics I got banned from the Yahoo Answers 'Horse' section