@Adar79Angie: If your Dad leaves, just act like you're installing a new screen door. All the Dads of the neighborhood will gather round. Pick your new Dad
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@SondraDeeMe: When the cops are at your door have on a cape, carry a wand, and tell them you're a magician when they ask how your boyfriend disappeared.
@jjhartinger: him: who is your fantasy? me: huh? him: who would you like to be stuck in an elevator with? me: the elevator repair man.
@Marcmywords2: It wouldn't kill this religion to throw a virgin in a volcano every now & then. Anyway, thats why they removed the suggestion box from Mass
@hello_saylor: My daily affirmation before work goes something like this: "I enjoy receiving a paycheck."