@2tickytacky: If your date asks what you do for a living, just say "You let me worry about that."
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@heartbread: sometimes i remember i was part of the nsa hack back in spring / that all my data is currently floating around china and i'm like "cool"
@ComeHome4Dinner: 2 grams for $40??? Son, you are getting soooooo ripped off. Go see Jermaine on Fremont St. Tell him Your Mother sent you.
@ItsAndyRyan: "How would you describe the woman who attacked you?" *Describes mother* *Gets a copy of picture* *Gives it to mum as late birthday present*
@mattytalks: She was a fax machine She kept her modem clean She was the best damn printer that I've ever seen