@david8hughes: If your dog & your baby are fighting, it's important to leave them to it so that a pack leader can be established.
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@KKAlThani: Autocorrect just changed "what are your plans" to "plants". Yes autocorrect, I'm curious if they're growing roses or sunflowers?
@UncleDuke1969: My daughter, filling out a college app, called me at home to get my home number. Big shout out to the ex-wife for pissing in my gene pool.
@thenatewolf: Detective: someone's been stealing boats, can we look in your basement? Me: I don't have a basement *sound of foghorn from basement*