@Satan_____: If your drug dealer is on time, it's a cop.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheMichaelRock: No thanks, flu shot. I look forward to three days off from work and returning looking like I was on a diet for six weeks.
@HysteriaBarbie: I like to put my passengers as ease by pointing out where all the airbags are. Ending the safety message with "Just in case I crash again"
@Sassafrantz: Him: She's always doing magic tricks Therapist: Is that true? Me: Check your pocket. [he pulls out a piece of paper with 'NO' written on it]
@TheSharona06: I had a beautiful pearl of wisdom to tweet but I dropped it on the ground and one of my dogs ate it. I should have it back in 12 hours or so