@trevso_electric: If your Facebook picture is a photo of a sunset or something inanimate, I'll assume you have a dissociative identity disorder.
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@WilliamAder: Co-worker playfully snapped my suspenders and now everyone in the office knows my safe word.
@donni: Choose a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life, because you'll never get that job.
@SCbchbum: "I'll have a caramel macchiato, hold the espresso & milk." "Miss, that's just a cup of caramel sauce." "You heard me."