@jayonguitar: If your girlfriend offers to make you breakfast at 2 AM. She's probably not your girlfriend and your just drunk at Denny's again.
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@XplodingUnicorn: I respected tiger sharks a lot more after I realized how many hurdles tigers and sharks had to overcome to breed with each other.
@Tommytoughstuff: [job interview] "Under skill it says nicknames?" "You know it Sex Dragon." "Sex Dragon wants to know when you can start?"
@iamjeffsloan: Still super weird to me that humans can make other smaller humans. I wish mozzarella sticks could make other smaller mozzarella sticks.