@dril: if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war
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@Dutch_50: Whenever I see a bruise on a banana my first thought is pity, but then I think it probably deserved it because I slipped on a peel once.
@LoveNLunchmeat: This diet is probably gonna end in murder, but still pretty excited. I'm gonna look so skinny in my mugshot!
@MarfSalvador: [being buried alive] murderer: *out of breath* how are you eating the dirt so quickly
@jazmasta: That hot guy you see on the train every day with headphones on? Imagine....imagine if he was listening to a podcast. Not so hot now is he?