@dril: if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war
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@fightforfood: A funny thing to do when someone's dog barks at you is say, "I don't speak dog," and then when they leave the room, speak dog fluently.
@slimmy_shady: I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks. So if you're swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
@kelkulus: Pot smokers like to say it's safe because it's natural. Other safe natural things include sunburn, poison ivy, and being eaten by a bear.