@dril: if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war
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@markydoodoo: Birthdays were invented by big wax corporations to sell more candles with numbers on them.
@Brianhopecomedy: My 2 year old woke up. 5 minutes of "Mommy!" 5 minutes of "Mommy?" Said "Daddy?" one time & my wife said, "You should go check on her".
@marinhubka: I moved to LA 9 months ago and I've just been circling around this whole time looking for a parking spot.