@carlyken: If your kid complains about how bored they are during winter break put a cape on them and say, "Now you're super bored!" and then fly away.
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@XplodingUnicorn: My 1-year-old thought it was funny to put food in my mouth. It was cute with Skittles. Then she switched to dog food.
@briangaar: I'm just looking for a woman who is smart, funny & can drive a getaway car tomorrow morning at 8