@WilliamAder: If your kid eats the chocolate bunny's feet first, "so it can't get away," that's your future serial killer right there.
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@jimmytorosian: Little Drummer Boy: I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum. Mary: What about that rad drum? Little Drummer Boy: No Mary: Get out
@paperphotoyo: My neighbor can't understand why he just found human shit on his front porch. I can't understand why he would use a power saw at 5:48 am.
@joeljeffrey: You know you're old when you start telling people how much cheaper things used to be.
@WilliamAder: Was standing in my front yard this evening and some neighborhood kids tried to deflate me.