@WilliamAder: If your kid eats the chocolate bunny's feet first, "so it can't get away," that's your future serial killer right there.
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@PressOneForNo: When your toddlers are teenagers don't forget to wake them at 5am because your sock came off
@weinerdog4life: Other kids wanted to be astronauts or doctors, when I was little I wanted to be a horse calendar
@realHamOnWry: I got a new cat from the inner city shelter. So far he seems fine, except for needing to go outside every hour for a cigarette.
@Jake_Vig: Dear rock bands, If I am at your show, assume I am both ready and willing to rock. No need to ask.