@WilliamAder: If your kid eats the chocolate bunny's feet first, "so it can't get away," that's your future serial killer right there.
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@SaltyCorpse: Remember how when you were little you could just rip off your diaper and run around naked and everyone thought it was funny? Anyway, I need bail money.
@ericsshadow: FBI: If you testify you'll have to go into the Witness Protection Program ME: I'll do it FBI: Your wife and kids too ME: Never mind
@liv_thatsme: Rice cakes have only 50 calories. But packing peanuts have 0 calories & they taste exactly the same.
@PinkCamoTO: *pulls up pants* Oh, you said ANNUAL review. Well, this is embarrassing. But just for reference, how'd I do?