@WheelTod: If your kid is having nightmares & keeps getting in bed with you in the night, a great solution is to go to sleep in full clown makeup.
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@Tmoney68: If I could time-travel, forget killing baby Hitler. I'd go back to use every come back I ever thought of 10 minutes too late.
@UnFitz: Me: Hi, mom. I'm feeling tremendous guilt. Mom: Why? Me: Just thought I'd save you the effort.
@Terdoh: If aliens are only on the quest for intelligent life, then Earth really has nothing to worry about.
@_Water_Baby: Scary is handing your car keys to the same kid who unintentionally locked himself in the bathroom that morning.