@myonlymizztake: If your kid texts you questions about the price of replacing any household item, you will be replacing said item.
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@TheSharona06: When taking your dog to the vet it's very important to remember to put your dog in the car.
@Thereeveryday: One day, the fridge will take revenge on me, every half hour opening the door to my room, staring at me for a few minutes & then walk away.
@WillMckenzieNot: At a restaurant: "Would you like a table?" "No, not at all. I came here to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please."
@OhNoSheTwitnt: 50 Shades of Grey is also the title of the 101 Dalmatians alternate ending where Cruella wins and makes a coat out of the puppies.