@myonlymizztake: If your kid texts you questions about the price of replacing any household item, you will be replacing said item.
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@BuckyIsotope: Did your date order honey for dinner? Did your date eat the waiter when he brought the honey? Is your date a bear? You are dating a bear.
@jordan_stratton: COACH: You miss 100% of the shots you take. ME: You mean, don't take? COACH: No. You are, by far, the worst athlete I have ever seen.
@ChipKellysBalls: Next time you decide to complain about your problems, just remember, some guy out there has Snooki as his mom ...