@SarahFemme: If your mom still washes your underwear, you're not allowed to have an opinion about anything.
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@johnfreiler: my friend's apartment building burned down so he's at his parents' and he still won't hang out with me. HOW MANY MORE FIRES DO I NEED TO SET
@timdonakowski: As long as you're good at blending in, you can be part of Brad and Angelina's family too.
@AnitaAlibi: My neighbor called my dog fat the other day. Took me two hours to convince my dog that he just had thick fur.
@PinkBlotMom: Are these potato chips so much healthier b/c they're Baked? My brother is baked all the time, and he's got diabetes.