@bridger_w: If your name got called on The Price is Right, it'd be fun to scream, jump up and down, and then run full speed out of the studio
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@awkwardphilippe: [Pizza falls on the ground] Hold HOLD! -Germ boss telling his minions not to jump on the pizza until it's been a full five seconds.
@lovemyboots111: How do you know your man is cheating? When he drives by her place the wifi connects
@RocketRankoon: You've won this round supervisor, but accidentally leave your Ok Cupid profile open one more time and you'll be a transgender time traveler.
@therealeatwood: ME: Leave me alone! You’re not my real dad! CRAWDAD: [patiently] I am doing my best to raise you on my own. Now eat your plankton.