@DaveWeasel: If your new boyfriend carved your initials into a tree on your first date, let the fact he brought a knife be a sign of things to come.
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@KattsDogma: French guy (showing me his yachts): This is Un. This is Deux. This is Trois. This is Quatre. This is Six. Me: Where's the 5th? FG: Cinq.
@carpetislava: BIDEN: How come you've never shown ME the swamp? OBAMA: Drain the swamp is a metaphor, Joe. BIDEN: Where will Shrek live?