@DanielRCarrillo: If your opponent cracks his knuckles before a fight, have comfort knowing that osteoarthritis will, in due time, avenge your savage beating.
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@alwayzintruble: My entire day will be spent laughing at my children because they have to go back to school tomorrow..
@iamspacegirl: God *up on a chair, shrieking*: GET IT GET IT Mrs God: You know they're more afraid of you than you are of them *gently sweeps man outside*
@Traceylei2: Tried to get my 7 year old cousin to play Hungry Hungry Hippos but the fences at the zoo are really high.
@WilliamAder: Me: Sweetie, I think these wireless headphones you got me are defective. Wife: Those are earmuffs.